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Original Song Lyrics by Alex Brumbaugh

All Songs Copyright © 1987 by Alex Brumbaugh

The Story Behind these Songs

The Lyrics:

Don’t Leave Your Heart Out in the Snow

Suzanne

I Can't Go On Being Alone

Getting Time to Start On Home

Don't Let the Blues Get in Your Shoes

Something Some Other Man Stole

Taxicab Blues

It's a Long Way Back to Texas

Just Give Me One More Reason

Wayward Cowboy Homeward Bound

Last Stand

My Heroes

 

The Story Behind these Songs

I learned to play the guitar and sing when I was about sixteen. I grew up on Elvis, Johnny Cash, and the Kingston Trio. By the time I went to college, folk music was happening, and I was playing the songs of Ian and Sylvia, The Chad Mitchell Trio, and Bob Dylan. As my alcoholism progressed, I was drawn to The Outlaws – Willy and Waylon and Kris Kristofferson and Jerry Jeff Walker.

I tried many times to write my own songs, but to no avail. I was content singing other people’s songs. During the last years of my drinking, I often sang in bars and small night clubs “for my drinks and tips” until “the bars were all closed and the ladies were leaving.”

When I got sober in 1983 I had to put my guitar aside for about a year. It triggered cravings every time I picked it up. But as my sobriety progressed, I was able to begin strumming and humming a bit. In 1986 I fell in with a group of wonderful musical companions, and we soon formed a country music band. We called ourselves “Hands on the Wheel” after Willie Nelson’s song on the Red Headed Stranger album, We played very traditional country songs at dances and talent shows at local recovery clubs. There were (from left, below) "Too Close" Charlie on pedal steel, Lisa on piano and mandolin, me on rhythm guitar and vocals, Dennis on lead guitar, and Larry on bass. .

One day I was walking on the beach and a song came to me out of the blue. It was called Yesterday’s Rainbows. I got home and started figuring it out on the guitar and realized that it was unconsciously but completely plagiarized. There was nothing original about it. I was so disappointed! Right then and there I gave up. I was not a songwriter. I was grateful that I could sing the songs of others.

This was 1987. I was working for a taxicab company, driving and dispatching. A few days after that walk on the beach - a Wednesday night, the 27th of May – I was scheduled for a graveyard dispatch shift. I watched some television that night before going to work, and Geraldo had a show on about runaway kids. They interviewed teens who had run away from home, and they interviewed parents whose kids had split. Geraldo interviewed one of the mothers who broke my heart. She looked right into the camera and said, “Julie, if you’re out there, Honey, if you can hear my voice, I just want you to know that I’m not mad, and we love you, and I am begging you to please just send us a postcard and let us know you are still alive.”

It brought tears to my eyes. I wondered at Julie’s fate as I drove to work.

That night in the taxicab office it got slow after the bars closed, and I was doodling on some scratch paper.

Where was Julie?

The answer came:

Julie works the truck stops of Nevada
Out on Highway 395.
She don’t get no postcards from the folks back home in Tulsa.
They don’t even know she’s still alive.

I once heard John Prine describe his creating process when composing a song: “I don’t write songs,” he said. “They just come up behind me like big Mack trucks.”

That was my experience that night. “Don’t Leave Your Heart Out in the Snow” came as fast as I could write, and it came complete with melody, instrumentation, and bridges. The whole package. I called it “No News,” and at six in the morning, when I got off work, I went to Dennis’s house – our band’s lead guitar player – and banged on his window until he woke up, and then sat down and played it for him.

It was the first song I had ever written, and by far the best. It was picked up and played by friends over the years, and was eventually recorded by Mark Insley on his Supermodel album in 2003. I just got my quarterly royalty check last October – 2008 – for about $37.00.

(A caveat. There actually aren't any truck stops on US 395 in Nevada. I know because I have since driven that stretch in an 18-wheeler.)

All the rest of these songs were written within about eight months of “Don’t Leave Your Heart Out in the Snow.” Like drugs and sex, none were as good as the first one was.

But they all came up behind me like Mack Trucks.

And then they stopped. I haven’t written a song since.

Who was I writing them to? Myself, I’m sure. I think they probably helped get me sober.


Don’t Leave Your Heart Out in the Snow

Julie works the truck stops of Nevada
Out on Highway 395.
She don’t get no postcards from the folks back home in Tulsa.
They don’t even know she’s still alive.

She never set out to be a “lady of the night.”
Down that lonesome road she never meant to go.
She’s just living day to day and sometimes there’s hell to pay
When you leave your heart out in the snow.
When you leave your heart out in the snow.

Billy sleeps outside in the alley
Behind the Hard Luck Bar and grill.
He drinks a quart of Midnight train just to keep his weary brain
From tellin’ him he’s way over the hill.

He never set out to be a drunkard.
Down that lonesome road he never meant to go.
He’s just living day to day and sometimes there’s hell to pay
When you leave your heart out in the snow.
When you leave your heart out in the snow.

Joey runs cocaine from Daytona up to Richmond
In a 1967 Kenworth truck.
He’s just a kid from Albuquerque, busted forty times
And he just feels a little down on his luck.

He never set out to be an outlaw.
Down that lonesome road he never meant to go.
He’s just living day to day and sometimes there’s hell to pay
When you leave your heart out in the snow.
When you leave your heart out in the snow.

I was standin’ on a roadside in Missoula
Trying to hitch a ride to Coeur d'Alene.
It was dyin’ down December as near as I remember.
I don’t ever want to see that road again.

I never set out to be a drifter.
Down that lonesome road I never meant to go.
I’m just living day to day and sometimes there’s hell to pay
When you leave your heart out in the snow.
When you leave your heart out in the snow.

(back to top)

Suzanne

Leaving Wichita, Kansas,
Drinking and driving to Dodge.
New Years Eve in Amarillo,
Making love at the Holiday Lodge.

And you were afraid that I'd left you
When you woke up that morning alone.
We drank all the way to Arizona
Through a silence that chilled to the bone

Suzanne, you're gone like the wind.
And I'm missing you today.
It's been seventeen years, I can still feel the tears
From the night you drifted away.
From the night you drifted away.

Whenever I see the old friends
I always ask about you.
But no one there knows where you've gone,
No one there knows what you do.

I was a child of my fancies.
I was so silent and cruel.
You were a once in a lifetime lady.
I was a once in a lifetime fool.

Suzanne, you're gone like the wind.
And I'm missing you today.
It's been seventeen years, I can still feel the tears
From the night you drifted away.
From the night I drove you away.

(back to top)

I Can't Go On Being Alone

Is there anybody out there who's been through the things I've searched for
All the pages of my life and never known?
Is there some way to begin to try and find somebody else
Who understands all the misfortunes I've been shown?

I've been living on the edges of a dream that I could die from
In the arms of a fear that I can't name.
All the faces I once knew are just circles that I drew
In the dust of some old broken window pane.

I can't go on being the man I used to be.
My soul feels like it's made of stone.
There's a hurricane a'building, and I can barely see.
I can't go on being alone.
I can't go on being alone.

Sometimes I think I'd like to travel back to my home town,
To the memories I left so far behind,
Back to some old crossroads that I should have believed in,
Back to where I started goin' blind.

I've been living on the edges of a dream that I could die from
In the arms of a fear that I can't see.
Smoky rooms and juke box tunes from "Abilene" to "Saskatoon:"
They all start to look the same to me.

Chorus

My mind is like a looking glass that busted on the sidewalks
Of a thousand towns I should've left alone.
There's a silence in between my ears reminding me of wasted years,
It's lucky, God, that my whole mind ain't blown.

I've been living on the edges of a dream that I could die from
In the arms of a fear that I can't own.
Is there anybody out there who's been through the things I've searched for
All the pages of my life and never known?

Chorus

(back to top)

Getting Time to Start On Home

Well, it seems that you've been wandering forever.
Didn't you leave your home when you were just a child?
And it seems you told your mama not to worry,
That it would only be for just a little while.

But here you are at seventeen, goin' on forty-four,
Still living on the far side of your shore.
And you know you sure don't look the same as when you started out to roam,
Don't you think it could be getting time to start on home?

            On home, sweet home.
            Don't you think it could be getting time to start on home?

Are you feeling any better than you used to?
Is it getting any easier at all?
And when you wake up in the morning, do you worry?
Do you still feel like you're way up against the wall?

You've been heading for a fall for such a long time,
Seems like you're always getting down to your last dime.
And you know you sure don't look the same as when you started out to roam,
Don't you think it could be getting time to start on home?

            On home, sweet home.
            Don't you think it could be getting time to start on home?

My little frozen angel, it's getting cold outside.
There's another winter comin' 'round the bend.
And will you make it south again one more time?
And don't it sometimes seem like it ain't ever gonna end?

There's no way you could've known how it would be this far away,
There's no way you could've known the price you gotta pay.
And you know you sure don't look the same as when you started out to roam,
Don't you think it could be getting time to start on home?

            On home, sweet home.
            Don't you think it could be getting time to start on home?

Remember I saw you on a box car outside of Denver.
Maybe it was nineteen sixty-two.
You were telling me there wasn't any freight to pay
For a God-forgotten wanderer like you.

But here you are at seventeen, going on forty-four,
Still living on the far side of your shore.
And you know you sure don't look the same as when you started out to roam.
Don't you think it could be getting time to start on home?
Don't you think it could be getting time to start back home?

Don't Let the Blues Get in Your Shoes

I telephoned my baby, there was nobody home.
Guess I'm gonna have to spend another night here alone.
Took off my shoes and turned the radio on.
They were playing this crazy song:

Don't let the blues get in your shoes.
Don't let the blues get in your shoes.
When it's all bad news and you're fixin' to lose
Don't let the blues get in your shoes.

I put on my shoes and I went uptown,
Thought I'd spend a little time and money hangin' around.
Went into a place I'd never been before,
They were playing this song while I was walking through the door:

Chorus

Well I walked outside, it was a'drizzling rain
Thinking 'bout my baby I was feelin' some pain.
Thought I'd taxi on home and put it all to bed
And this taxi driver turned around to me and he said:

Chorus

(back to top)

 

Something Some Other Man Stole

I remember the day that you left me.
I remember you were trying to smile.
You said you'd decided, after thinking things over,
To be by yourself for awhile.

And your lips formed the words, "I love you,"
Across the room where you stood by the door.
That's all I could see through the tears in my eyes
And you never came back any more.

You've traded my love for your freedom,
The freedom to own your own soul.
You said you're not looking for some other man
But for something some other man stole.

And I can't help but respect you,
And God knows, I'm not perfect at all,
And I know when our heart whispers to us,
We just have to follow the call.

And sometimes I pretend that I understand
These times that we're living through.
But that sure don't help make it easy
To let go of someone like you.

Chorus

(back to top)

 

Taxicab Blues

I was sittin' in my taxicab reading Rimbaud
When the dispatcher called me on the radio.
He said, "I got a call down at the Space Bubble,
And they said they need a taxicab - on the double."

It's the taxicab blues. I got the taxicab blues.
I'd rather be in the sack, but I'm driving this hack,
I got the taxicab blues.

I been driving this taxi since the break of dawn.
Somebody just asked me, "Hey, what're you on?"
I said, "My last legs," and I tried to smile,
'Cause I'm living on seventeen cents a mile.

I got the taxicab blues. The driving taxicab blues.
I got an ache in my back from driving this hack,
I got the taxicab blues.

I was the fifth cab in line at the old Greyhound
And a big double eagle was a rollin' into town.
Now everybody here is gone but me
And some old drunk who wants to ride for free.

I got the taxicab blues. The rolling taxicab blues.
You get a lot of flack when you're driving a hack,
I got the taxicab blues.

There's so many times I tried to get in some other line.
I went into business with a friend of mine
We were selling cocaine out of a panel truck,
But we got shook down and way out of luck.

Now it's the taxicab blues. I got the taxicab blues.
Well, I kicked the crack but I'm back in the hack,
I got the taxicab blues.

Well, it's a hacker by day and a bum by night
And I know that living like that ain't right.
I make seven dollars and the boss takes five
And that sucker don't even know how to drive.

I got the taxicab blues. I got the taxicab blues.
Well, I don't know jack 'cause I'm back in the hack,
I got the taxicab blues.

(back to top)

 

It's a Long Way Back to Texas

You're sitting in your big house way uptown,
Fancy pictures hanging on the wall.
But there isn't any sign of the one you left behind,
Don't you ever think of her at all?

It's a long way back to where you left her,
Your laughing little rodeo queen.
It's a long way back to Texas
Through country that you've never seen.

Guess you thought that what she had to offer
Was something that you couldn't really use,
That all the things you were when you were with her
Were things that you could sure afford to lose.

Chorus

When you were just a kid you played together
Underneath that big old Texas moon.
Didn't you love the songs that she'd sing to you,
Even when she sang 'em out of tune?

Chorus

Are you feelin’ just a little bit lonely?
Are you feeling like you might of lost your way?
Are you running short of all the things you hoped that you would be
By the time you got to where you are today?

Chorus (last line repeats)

(back to top)

 

Just Give Me One More Reason

Just give me one more reason for leaving,
And I'll be gone just like the love you’ve left behind.
Just give me one more reason for crying
So I can go before I lose my mind.

When you look at me that way
With those eyes that used to hold me like a child,
And when you turn away in silence
With those lips that used to call me with a smile

You make me steal away
With thoughts of leaving
Still I pray
That it's not over.

Just give me one more reason for leaving
And I'll be gone just like the love you left behind.
Just give me one more reason for crying
So I can go before I lose my mind.

(back to top)

 

Wayward Cowboy Homeward Bound

I saw a big ol' flock of snow geese moving out this morning,
Heading north and following the sun.
And an eighteen-wheeler pulled away from the crossroads where I'm standing
And I'm thinking of the long, long way I've come.

This wayward cowboy's homeward bound,
So tired of all the loneliness I've found.
And somewhere far away I hear a sound softly calling
Back from where my soul has fallen
Like a stone
Right to the ground.
This wayward cowboy's homeward bound.

I been thinking some of heading down to Southern Colorado,
Or maybe somewhere back toward Abilene.
But as another twilight turns to dawn my broken memories linger on,
There ain't a single road I haven't seen.

Chorus

Just around the next bend in this road that I've been traveling
I might find what I've been searching for.
But my feet are getting weary, and my heart is growing cold,
And I just don't feel like driftin' anymore.

Chorus (last line repeats)

(back to top)

 

Last Stand

Charlie's great grand-father headed north from the gold fields in 1873,
Gone bust in San Francisco and looking for land that was virgin and free.
He homesteaded south of Spokane on a section of land that was rich as his pride,
Raising a family, learning the seasons, and loving the wife at his side.

Now Charlie tells his own sons the story of four generations.
It's a story of giving your life and your love to the ground.
And he's down on his knees in the wheat fields that grow all around him.
He's feeding the world and watching his deal go down.

At harvest time Charlie's sons come down from Spokane to lend him a hand,
Gerry-rigging the combine and trucks for what looks like the very last stand.
Hauling the wheat into Ritzville and praying that the clouds don't turn into rain,
Listening to old Charlie telling his stories at night and hiding his pain.

Chorus (last line repeats)

(back to top)

 

My Heroes

I drank my way through miles and miles of Texas,
Laredo, Amarillo, San Antone’.
I seen that whole world through my windshield
And them ol' honky tonks that I can't leave alone.

Johnny and Waylon got religion.
Kris is making moving picture shows.
Hank died at twenty-nine and went to heaven.
And Merle's sellin’ whiskey, don't you know?

I left my home in West Virginia.
Left my mama and my baby back there, too.
I sold my soul to them old honky tonks,
Sold my saddle to some cowboy passing through.

I'm a drunken desperado,
With the cocaine blues 'round every bend.
Well it's "T" for Texas, and Tecate, and Tequilla,
And the Lost Highway never ends.

Now I'm sittin' in a bar in old El Paso
Thinking about a drifter name of Luke,
Driving one more nail in my coffin,
Dropping one more dime in this ol' juke.

And Johnny and Waylon got religion.
Kris is making moving picture shows.
Hank died at twenty-nine and went to heaven, I suppose,
And Merle's still selling whiskey, don't you know?
Yeah, Merle's still selling whiskey. My heroes.

(This song requires some explanation. At this point in my sobriety I was disappointed that country music singer-songwriters who had gotten sober never came out with sober songs - in fact they kept coming out with drinking songs. This song was specifically inspired by seeing Merle Haggard in a Kentucky Whisky advertisement in a Country and Western magazine)

(back to top)

 

 

 

 

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